The Breakup – Part IV

On the fourth day of my week-long stay, we travelled to Malaysia. Paul had a friend there who was staying at her Tita’s place in Kuala Lumpur, so free accomodation! We rode the train to Kranji, and then a bus to Johor Bahru. It was an amazing experience getting off the bus to exit Singapore Immigration, and then back on the bus, and then we got off again to enter Malaysian Immigration, and then back on the bus to Johor Bahru.

From Johor Bahru, it was a five hour bus ride to Kuala Lumpur. We left around 2 pm, and arrived around 7 pm. It was raining. The bus ride was quiet. Again we didnt talk. Normally I would be madaldal, but I dont know why I didn’t initiate any conversation. I guess I was scared to say something to upset him, esp since the ground I was standing on is already fragile. One wrong step and I could die [of heartbreak].

When we got to his friend’s house, we mingled a little bit with the family who welcomed us and had dinner. The trip was tiring so we asked to turn in early.

We had the whole guest room to ourselves. There was a queen-size bed. It was comfortable. Me on the left side, he on the other.

Parang may pader sa gitna namin.

Yes, I was crying, while he slept soundly. How could he sleep in such a lonely night? I was in another foreign country, staying at a house of a family I did not know. I only took comfort in the fact that the home I used to know was on the other side of that soft bed.

Did I mention it was raining? It really felt like I was in a sad movie of some sort.

I couldn’t sleep. And I couldn’t cry all night either. So I got up and borrowed his iPad from his bag. I played games for a good 30 minutes, when I got bored and the devil told me to open the facebook app.

I read his messages again. There’s this guy, who he talks to everyday. Itago natin sya sa pangalang Nigel. I knew that they’re just talking and there was nothing to it because this guy is in a relationship with someone else.

[This is not how it went exactly, but this is how I remember it. I was nauseated and my head was hurting while reading the conversation, please understand]

April 3, 2013
“hey you there?”
“hey yes whats up?”
“I think Im gonna give up and break up with him lol”
“Well, ikaw if you’re really no longer into him then do so.”
“I think nakakaramdam na siya, kasi I haven’t been talking to him. I always tell him I’m busy lol”
“Ohh”
“Pupunta nga siya dito next week.”
“Wow”
“I dont know if I should break up with him now or when he gets here. Im just so tired of him, of everything.”

I thought I was gonna die. I placed the iPad back to his bag and went under the sheets. I could not breathe. There were so many things going through my head, and I saw my world falling apart. I was floating endlessly and I could not feel anything. The next thing I knew, he was waking me up and telling me to get ready for the day.

I got up and went to the bathroom. I turned the shower on, with his stupid lying face on my mind, and the water running down my face.

After the shower, I brushed my teeth and looked at what a mess I was. I lost weight, my eyes were red and tired. I looked so ugly and I couldn’t stand up straight.

I got out, got dressed, and met everyone at the table and had breakfast. I ate a little bit. Didn’t have any appetite at all.

We went to Batu Caves to see the temple and the monkeys.

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After that we went to Petronas Towers and had lunch there. I got hungry so I ordered a lot of food from McDonalds. [The Horlicks crunch was divine, by the way. One of the few things that made me happy at that trip].

After lunch, we roamed around the mall and got in one of the Architecture Galleries. Looked around for a bit, and learned about the amazing buildings around the world.

Then, we went outside, and walked around the park infront of the towers (near the fountains).

We sat down and I admired the beauty of Kuala Lumpur. It was just like Manila, only… cleaner. It was a sunny and quiet afternoon.

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There were squirrels running around, and a few people reading books. There was a group on one side shooting a video. Everbody else was just chitchatting, enjoying the afternoon breeze.

Kami? Nakaupo lang.

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I couldn’t take it anymore. I had enough. I couldn’t wait for him to man up and initiate “the talk”. SO PATHETIC IF YOU ASK ME. If you plan on breaking up with someone, atleast be man enough to own up to it. Naghihintay ba siya ng milagro?

“Paul..” I said.
Then he looked at me.
“I think.. Uhm, I think we need to talk.”
“About what?”

Gusto ko na siyang suntukin. AS IN. Tanginang yun. About what ka pa dyan alam mo naman what its about asjdfhkjashdkf.

“About.. Us..”

I swear I am not kidding when I tell you that it suddenly started to rain when I said those words. Nakakaloka, sunny lang tapos biglang bubuhos ang ulan. SO CINEMATIC.

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We ran under the rain and went to the nearest gazebo in the park.

There we continued “The Talk”.

(to be continued…)

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