The Last Three Days (Part II)
by Cosmic Panda
The kiss made me happy. But I didn’t show him genuine emotions. I just smiled at him and said “Of course, ikaw pa.”
I wanted to hug him so bad. I wanted more of that kiss. I missed his lips. I missed his warmth. I missed his love.
Gusto ko syang yakapin ng mahigpit at sabihin sa kanyang mahal na mahal ko siya. Gusto kong magmakaawa. Gusto kong tanungin kung anong dapat kong gawin para hindi na kami maghiwalay.
But I stopped myself. I was already in so much pain, I couldn’t take any more of it. I knew nothing good was going to come out if I begged him not to break up with me.
That night, before we went to sleep, he played Candy Crush on his iPad while I played Injustice on my phone. My Catwoman already ran out of energy, so I stopped playing.
I placed my phone at the bedside table, and then I looked at him.
He was so cute playing and thinking hard about how to get to the next level.
I found myself watching him and thinking “Why do I still love this bastard despite everything he put me through?”
I guess you can never really tell your heart what to do.
I closed my eyes. I was so tired I just wanted to sleep. But I couldn’t. Then I thought, maybe we can make love one last time.
So I asked him.
“Breakup sex?” he said.
“Yeah why not?”
Then he thought about it for a while.
“Sige na, its our last night together.”
“Ayoko.” Sabi nya. Then he started to tear up. “I can’t, Kristian. I’m afraid of what might happen if we do it one last time. I’m afraid I won’t be able to get over you.”
“Can we atleast make out?”
And we did. But it was pointless – making out with a stranger.
Saturday – April 27, 2013
We woke up early and headed to the big-ass bus station of Kuala Lumpur, Terminal Bersepadu Selatan.
The cabbie that we got was an old Chinese man, who knew that we were Filipino because he was familiar with our language. During the ride, he shared funny anecdotes about his experiences in Manila when he was younger. He said he was a big fan of OPM, and showed us his collection of Freddie Aguilar, VST & Co., and Apo Hiking Society.
I was so amused at the fact that I met a chinese cab driver in Malaysia who listens to OPM.
He then placed his Apo CD in the car player and the first track that played was “Panalangin”.
It was a sunny Saturday, and the traffic was light. The love of my life was there, and I was singing along with the music.
It seemed like a perfect romantic moment. I wanted to hold and kiss his hand.
Two more days. Two days more.
At the bus station, we had breakfast. And I was surprised we were talking.
I guess because the thing that has been on his mind is already out there. He was finally getting rid of me. He was now off the hook.
He seemed okay with everything.
Remember when I told you that I know when he is excited or not? He looked damn too excited to go back to Singapore.
Ano bang meron sa Singapore at itong gagong to eh masaya.
The bus we got was leaving at 11:45 am. I looked at the time. 11:30.
I didn’t want to leave Malaysia – no, that wasn’t it – I didn’t want to be in Singapore. I hated Singapore. I hated everything about it. I could imagine him and his Singaporean lover.
I had to get out of that bus so I could think straight. I needed an excuse.
“Ang sakit ng tyan ko.” sabi ko sa kanya.
“Aalis na yung bus, uy.”
“CR lang muna ako saglit. Ang sakit talaga ng tyan ko eh”
I stood up and took my bag.
“Iwan mo na yung bag mo!”
Diko sya pinansin.
I got off the bus. I went to the restroom. I looked at myself in the mirror and thought about not getting on that bus with him. I wanted to just get another ticket and ride a different bus to Johor Bahru. Maybe it’ll lessen the pain of going back.
I went back outside. 11:45.
The driver was looking at me and signalled that the bus was about to leave.
I wanted to get on the bus. But I also didn’t want to get on the bus.
I had to decide. I had to decide FAST.
(to be continued…)