Chapter One: Rob

by Cosmic Panda

5 of Cups.

Emptiness, Disillusionment, Broken Dreams, Old Wounds

The Tarot card was accurate.

I don’t know why I was inside that room with that woman, getting a ‘reading’ of my life through Tarot cards. I was just walking around Galleria when she approached me.

I didn’t believe in things like that… intuition, or horoscopes, or getting life guidance through a bunch of cards. I guess I only said yes because I didnt have anything else to do that day.

When she pulled out that card and said it was my current state, I was impressed.

“Ibig sabihin ng 5 of Cups, you are currently concentrating on the things you don’t have, rather than on the things that you do. One of your deepest held beliefs has been shattered and you are mourning its loss.” she added.

It was accurate.

Kaso naisip ko baka chamba lang yun.

“Next card…”

Queen of Cups.

Fantasy and Creativity. Repressed Emotions. Nervous Breakdown

“Ano naman yan ate?” I asked.

“Eto, it represents who you are.” she said.

“Ano ibig sabihin nyan?” I asked again, trying not to sound cynical or condescending.

“It means you are creative, artistic, and intuitive…”

Taray, dahil ba bakla ako ganun na agad? I should have been offended. Chos long.

She was kinda right.

“…You love deeply, passionately, and optimistically… but you have a little tendency to always put your partner first.”

I just looked at her. Medyo amazed at her communication skills. And also at her next chamba.

“…Sometimes your love for others make you forget your own obligations and commitments.”

She continued flipping cards and told me shit about my life. It was all true. I don’t remember the rest of it, but she kept repeating that I had to move on.

My name is Rob. I live in #85 Shaw Blvd., Mandaluyong City. I am 25 years old, and was recently heartbroken.

The 5 of Cups card was accurate because I lost my faith in life. I was living with my [now ex] boyfriend happily when he told he got a job offer in Austria and left me here.

I was shattered. I felt like I lost a big part of me and would never get it back. I thought he was happy and contented with what we had.

I gave up being with my family for him. My mom was against our relationship when I introduced him to her, and she told me she would rather see me die than see me be a gay man.

I chose him. We lived together for four years. Four beautiful years. But he left for Austria because of a job offer.

Medyo maarte ako pero he was the only one I had. He was my home. He was my life. He was my everything.

Do you now also see why the Queen of Cups card was accurate?

It has been over year, but I’m still not over him.

Before I said goodbye to the woman who read my cards, she hugged me and said that I should move on.

I told her I would, but it would be very hard to do so.

She then gave me a sheet of paper, but requested me to read it at a park.

I was weirded out by the request, but I didnt question her because she was right about everything. So I drove to the nearest park I know, Bonifacio High Street, sat on the grass and read the note.

If I learned anything about partnership (love, business, friendship, creative), it is that both individual that grow together last longer. The thing is, we grow at our own pace and we have no control over that.

Life goes on. Seriously it does

I just planted my face in my hands after I read that and wiped the tears off my eyes.

I let out a big sigh and all of a sudden a Golden Retriever came to me out of nowhere.

I hugged it, and he gave a look to me like he knew I was crying.

The owner came running towards us and smiled when she saw I was playing with her dog.

“Aww, Joooooones!” she said

“You are the sweetest dog in the world!” I said, as I played with his ears and neck.

The girl just smiled, and I looked at her. It was Anne Curtis SHET.

Just kidding, pero kamukha niya.

“Come on Jones we have to go!”

Jones went to her and she placed a leash on his collar.

She smiled at me again and said it was nice meeting me and would’ve stayed and talked but she was in a hurry.

Its okay I said, and watched them run off. I was happy to have met them both, especially Jones.

Dogs have a way of making me feel better all the time.

I was just smiling at what happened when I noticed that a cute guy, sitting somewhere near the fountains, was looking at me.

(To be continued…)

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